I was scheduled to be induced on July 13th. The night before, Rocky and I had a hard time sleeping, we both were just so excited for the birth of our babies. I finally got to sleep, and at 5:45 am my great husband made me pancakes in bed. We got ready, and were at the hospital by 6:30 am. I was than given Pitocian to help start my labor. I slowly started get more and more contractions, when I started feeling the pain, I asked to get an Epidural. My mom came to the hospital, ready for the babies to come any minute. But the babies just took their time. Later, my friend, Rachel Farner, came to the hospital. She wanted to take pictures of the birth, and of the babies afterwards.
Hours went by and nothing happened. My doctor, came in later that day, and broke my water. Still nothing! I was dilating, but was dilating really slowly. My Epidural started fading off, and had the doctor come in and fix it. Night came, and I still was in labor! I just wanted to die. My whole body started to shake. My husband, mom, and Rachel all found spots in the room, to sleep. I slept in between my body shaking. My doctor, Dr. Burnett stayed the night at the hospital with us. She kept checking in on us throughout the night. They kept playing with the Pitocian trying to make my body deliver the babies. I really did not want a c-section. My husband and I were very against c-sections.
That morning, my doctor came in and sat down with us. She said that since I have been on Pitocian for over 22 hours, my body has stopped reacting to it. Dr. Burnett knew that we did not want to have a c-section, but told us at this point we need to start having it in the back of our minds. We can either do it now, or wait a few hours and see what happens. But the longer we wait, the more risk for an infection at this point. Rocky and I asked everyone, including my mom and friend to leave the room, so we could talk. We for some reason, had a calm and good feeling about going further with the c-section. I asked Rocky to go up to the front, and tell Dr. Burnett to start getting ready for the c-section. But first I wanted a Priesthood blessing from Rocky. My mom and Rachel came back in, for Rocky to give me a blessing, and the nurses started getting everything ready for the c-section. It was interesting some of the things, our Heavenly Father told me in that blessing. It did not make sense at first, but minutes later made a lot of sense. We could have not predicted what happened next.
Right after Rocky finished the Priesthood blessing, Dr. Burnett came running in. She told me that Lilly's heartbeat has dropped and we needed to go NOW! I was a little confused what was going on, and the seriousness of it. But they wheeled me into the OR. Rocky was allowed in the room. My mom and Rachel watched from a window. Dr. Burnett started cutting me, and I felt it a little, cause I had the Epidural for so long, that it was fading again. So Dr. Burnett told them to put me under, so she could do her job (she has a good heart and did not want to hear me in pain). I am so glad that they put me under, cause I do not think I could have handled what happened next. Rocky was in the room, and watched it all in disbelief.
Dr. Burnett cut me open as fast as she could. My umbilical cord was long and skinny for both of my babies. There was a knot in both of their cords. Logan was not yet effected, but during labor, the knot in Lilly's cord got tighter and tighter and she went further down. The knot got so tight that it cut off all blood circulation. Lilly's heart stopped beating. When Dr. Burnett got to her, there was no blood in the cord itself. Because my cord was so long and skinny, my cord was wrapped around her whole body. It took Dr. Burnett 6 minutes to get her out, cause she was so wrapped in it. Once she got her out, Dr. Burnett handed Lilly to Dr. Knochel. Dr. Knochel did 17 minutes of CPR on Lilly. After the 17 minutes, Dr. Knochel brought my baby girl back to life. During this time, a minute after Lilly was born, Logan was born. The knot in his cord did not have a chance to get tight to ever hurt him.
Lilly July 14, 2011
Logan July 14, 2011
The next part is a little fuzzy for me, cause they were trying to wake me up after the surgery. But I remember Dr. Burnett coming in and telling me that there was something wrong with Lilly, and they were life flighting her up to Primary Children's Hospital in SLC, Utah. I remember I started to cry, and Dr. Burnett held my hand and cried with me. Then they wheeled Lilly in, she was in a Incubator. They opened it up, and told me that I could touch her. I tried to lift up my left arm, and for some reason it was paralayzed for the moment. I asked them to bring her a little closer so I could touch her. Then I asked if Rocky could give her a Priesthood blessing before she left. The nurses got oil from the front desk, and Rocky gave her a beautiful blessing. He had everyone in the room crying.
Lilly July 14, 2011
Mommy and Logan July 14, 2011
Logan July 14, 2011
Daddy and Logan July 15, 2011
Lilly. July 15, 2011
They life flighted Lilly up to Primary Children's Hospital, Rocky drove up there, leaving me at Logan behind. Logan was a beautiful, healthy little boy. I am so glad that I had him with me. At least I had one little baby to hold and love in the hospital. I had a lot of visitors during this time. But I was in so much shock and stress, I really do not remember a whole lot.
Sunday, July 17th, Logan and I was released from the hospital. My sister, Rachael, came and picked me up. With the help of my Relief Society President, we hurried went to my house and packed Logan and I some stuff to go up to SLC for however long it would take to get Lilly home.
Logan going home from the hospital. July 17, 2011
Lilly was on a ventilator, had IV's coming out of her umbilical cord, a feeding tube going down her nose, and other monitors, and on ice. Because of the IV's in her cord, ice and the vent, it is protocol for parents to hold their babies until both of those things are out and off the ice. And it is protocol for other babies, including a twin, unable to go back to the NBICU. But our doctor was the head doctor of the NBICU, I have no idea why, but he made an exception for us as long as she was back to normal temperature. They started heating her back up. The day I arrived at the hospital, and it was a one time thing, Logan and I were able to go back with Lilly and hold my sweet baby girl. I could tell the nurses thought this was strange and was uneasy about it, but Dr. Null gave us permission. It took the nurses about 30 minutes to get everything ready to make it safe, but then they put my little girl on my lap.
First time seeing Lilly. July 17, 2011
Finally getting to hold Lilly for the first time!
I received my Patriarchal Blessing when I was 14 years old. In this blessing, it talks about the first time I hold this child in my arms, I will recognize more fully the love that my Father in Heaven has for me. When I held Lilly, I felt tremendous amount of love for Lilly. I almost lost this little girl, and she was now in my arms. Tries just came to my eyes with love and gratitude that she was still with us. We still did not know if she would live or die, but she was alive in my arms. Then Rocky put Logan in my arms too. I had both of my babies at least. My friend, Rachel Farner, made a page on Facebook called "Prayers for Lilly" and my family was praying and fasting for us, my ward (church) at home was praying and fasting for us. The ward actually got together after church, and did a prayer just for Lilly. I think because of all this, I was able to hold both of my babies. And because of all this, I still have both of my babies.
Our Bishop, Bishop Loveless, suggested that we give Lilly a name and a blessing in case she passes on. Rocky, my uncle, Gary, and Bishop Loveless came in on July 18th to give her the blessing, while Logan and I listened. It was one of the most beautiful, heart breaking blessings I have ever heard! Bishop Loveless said that if Lilly survives this, than we can give her a blessing at the church, but she will no longer need the name. Her name is now in the records of the church.
The doctors did an MRI, and saw a lot of brain damage, but more in the motor skills area. But Lilly is moving all of her limbs and is getting stronger everyday. We will not know how much her damage will effect her until she gets older. Because she is an infant, she can recover a lot easier than an older person.
Lilly was finally taken off the vent, and was finally put on a Nasal Canula. And on July 23rd, Rocky was able to hold Lilly for the first time. By then she had a PICC line, and no IV's in her umbilical cord. Rocky was a proud daddy! Logan was only able to be in the NBICU that one day. We had tons of friends and family that came up to SLC to watch Logan in the waiting room so we could also be with Lilly. I could not bare not being at the hospital, nor bear leaving Logan with another person. I am so grateful for the people that came and helped me, so I could be in the same area of both of my babies!
Daddy holding Lilly for the first time
On Aug 2nd, Lilly went into surgery to have a G-tube placed in her stomach. Since she had no gag reflex, hard time swallowing, and does not suck. With a G-tube we can hook her up to a machine, and feed her. They had to put her on the vent again for her surgery, and they were going to wean her off of it again. Right after her surgery the vent accidentally got caught on something and it came out. For over 10 minutes, she was on nothing and did just fine. So they did not put her back on the vent. They gave her, her Nasal Canula again. Since she was doing so well after her surgery, they started preparing us for her to finally come home!
Aug 5th, they had home health come and teach us how to use all of her equipment that she would be going home with. That night we roomed in, at the hospital. Which means we slept over at the hospital, and had a nurse watching her monitors, and answer any questions that we had, so we could take care of her at home. Logan was united again with his sister! Logan was so happy to see her. First thing he did, was suck on her fingers.
Rooming in at the hospital with Lilly. Logan gets to see his sister again. Lilly was a little upset that her hand ended up in Logan's mouth
Logan LOVES Lilly! He kept starring at her.
Finally they are together again!
On Aug 6th, Lilly came home! We are so happy she is here. It has been a week now, that we are all back home. I took both babies home for the first time. Logan only spent one night at home since his birth to Aug 6th. We lived at our friends house, Becky Serrano. And then so we could be closer went to the Ronald McDonald house. We picked up Kody and DJ, and finally we had our whole family home!
This week, Lilly, has been doing very well. She has a gag reflex now, she struggles swallowing every now and then, but is learning. And about an hour before her scheduled feeding with her G-tube, she starts to make a sucking motion with her mouth. Lilly's her oxygen is down between 1/8 to 1/4 of a liter right now. Sometimes we have to give her a little more. But she is handling it pretty well right now.
Logan is a cute little boy. He gives the cutest facial expressions! He makes us all laugh. Kody and DJ loves to feed him, burp him, hold him, and read to him. Logan loves to eat. I am currently nursing him. Lilly also gets my milk, I do a lot of pumping! Logan also takes his bottle very well. Logan LOVES his smoothie! The only annoying thing about it, is it falls out of his mouth, he cries until it is back in, and in the middle of the night we sometimes play that game every 5 minutes! Logan also LOVES to be held! He is a master at peeing out of his diaper, getting his clothes wet, and however is holding him wet.
I am so grateful for all 4 of my kids! I am such a lucky mother! I am grateful for all the prayers. I think Lilly is doing so well, because of all the prayers in her behalf. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daddy and Logan waiting in the waiting room at the NBICU
Lilly getting a brain scan
July 31st. My 4 boys!
Daddy and Lilly Aug 1st
Aug 7th. Lilly all dressed up
Aug 8, 2011
Daddy and babies! Aug 9th