Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Struggling

There are good days, and there are bad days. Today, I am kind of feeling kind of down. I am sad. I am sad for Lilly Mae. I am sad that she will not be able to do what most kids will do. She most likely will never be in a dance class, she will not play softball, she will not be able to run around with her twin brother. It will take her long time to learn to sit, it will take her longer to walk, if she is able to at all. Last night I was bathing Lilly, thinking how many years will I need to bathe her for? Will she ever be able to bathe herself someday? Then after the bath, I put a diaper on her. I started thinking when will I be able to potty train her? Will she be able to potty train? It makes me sad, because I have sooo much love for her. She is such a sweet spirit and I want the best for her. I want her to be happy! Will she be happy? Right now, she does not know any better. Will she know better later? Will that depress her? Is my little girl in pain or uncomfortable? This is not the common cold or flu, or even RSV that goes away. This is a brain injury that will always effect her. Will I ever be able to give her the house she deserves? Where she can freely get around with her wheelchair? Will we be able to make that kind of money to do that for her? Maybe I should try to get on Home makeover and have Ty give her a house. LOL. That will never happen. Sorry, I try to be positive most of the time, but sometimes I let things get to me. I will pick myself up before tomorrow for Thanksgiving! Thanks for listening. video

Lilly likes to "be strong" and stand. She gets a big smile on her face. It is not the easiest thing for her to do though. If I held Logan, he would just stand with my support. It takes Lilly a little more time. But she is happily doing it.


video

Logan learning to splash a little. He was splashing a lot more before I got the camera. But still cute!

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your raw thoughts...
    Little Lily--you are so very loved by so many. Mommy Emily, may your heart be filled with hope and joy in the midst of your sadness. You are precious and your children are blessed to have a momma with such a loving heart.

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